Lucid Fire (2019)

This piece has many extractions and stories within it from my journeys with grief, specifically mourning the loss of my partner/best friend in 2013. Lucid fire is a visual expression of: Manifestation of grief in my body, how it has festered and fermented in my lungs, spine, shoulder blades, arms, nerves~
Learning to hold myself and move with the feeling of searing emptiness, depression, and chronic pain and weaving in the lessons of this moment. This loss awakened intergenerational trauma & unaddressed familial pain that needed to be released. What is suppressed ruptures wide open to be listened to and confronted- sparking the journey to restore my fountain within to trust in life, revive my appetite for life, and invite presence back into my body. Reigniting my relationship with dance allowed me to understand deeper where grief is stuck in my body. Where I feel stiffness, fatigue, where I have contracted and to open those places up with patience, care, and sweetness. Nurturing myself into a new rhythm of equilibrium was found through remedy rituals of dancing, the elements, witnessing sunsets daily, inner work, dream work, surrendering to wonder, beauty and pleasure••• Lucid fire is the process of awakening after trauma, the learning & creation of a self being birthed from fire. 🥭
Special thanks to my mama for her sewing gifts and supporting me with this piece. I brought yellow roses for the beautiful Jadoo artists of this show the night of the opening as honoring~~

This piece was for Conjuring Jadoo (magic), a queer and trans south asian showcase exploring death, mourning, and grief curated by Shannon and Madhvi. Grateful for this intentional show that held space for the experiences, complexities, layers, and expressions of grief and death for queer and trans south asians! This moment of honoring our inner processes around death gave birth to so much life for me.